My Un-Forgettable Christmas Holidays(2012)……Part1

Posted: January 8, 2013 in My Silly thoughts

No net, no range, no activa how bad life could be!!!I never thought this Christmas will be so sad and painful. Only if these problems were there I wouldn’t have mind but no, god was not happy so he added one more problem to the “NO” list. My niece doesn’t call me SNL or Checkchy she calls me with some name which she used to call her other aunt. Oh I tried all possible tricks but no use. Oh babes whats wrong with you, why cant you recognize your cool, smart aunt ????

Its almost three days since I checked my mails, FB account, my blog updates and I hate it. There’s a long story behind the internet problem. Some loser thief flicked the cable wire because of which I curse him every possible minute. If he would have flicked piece of my intestine I wouldn’t have minded so much (I think). Wherever you go we follow, connecting people, get idea…what the heck theres no network for any of these connection, even data card was useless. Before even showing that hutch dog following any kid or before creating some melodious jingle check whether will get range from my home. I have to keep my phone under some mango tree to get the updates. Days are not long when I have to sit on the tip of the coconut tree for range. So Don’t even ask me how my Christmas holidays were.

I met some people whom I know and they asked me seeing my meatless beauty bones “what happned? Why are you so thin?”. I smiled remembering those people with different question before years back “when is the good news?”. May be they realized that its not happening so they changed their question. Again I had some story to tell them. With their fake smile on their face I knew it even those were board like me but still I kept my story on.

There’s a funny story about my journey from Bangalore to Mangalore. As world was supposed to get over on December 21st night I said farewell to all my dear friends saying “will meet in hell”. When I sat on the bus I closed my eyes and said “hey Jesus buddy, not tonight, I don’t want to die in bus, with my bunny teeth missing and jeans torn near my butt”. Soon after I closed my eyes I was drifted to sleep. Somewhere around midnight I got up and looked outside expecting some renovation to the world but I was disappointed. Then again I drifted to sleep. Bus was moving with its own speed. Somewhere the driver took u-turn and I thought the earth started moving. Bingo!!!! I thought at last it started. I opened my mouth to scream and no sound came. Thank god I didn’t scream else people in the bus would have pelted stones at me.

When I reached my home my niece AL was sleeping. When she finally got up around 9 she said “gu moning esha”. I looked at her and asked “who is esha?”. She showed her 4 milk teeth and said “u”. and I pinched her ear and said “no, I am checkchy, say checkchy”. She looked at me and said “esha”. How bad it could be when your favorite niece calls you by some other name.

As I am blessed with nephew I went to see him to hospital with my bro and AL. As soon as we got down from the car AL said “dada esha is beating me!!1”. What the hell!!1 I was just walking, I looked at her with angry eyes and she said “dada esha is beating me”. All I wanted to do was spank her ass.

I saw my nephew and all I could think was “tiny, tiny he is darn tiny”. I looked at him said “not now dude, may be after 1 year, till then I will torture your little sister”. AL was happy to see her new brother. She touched his cheek and talked to him in her baby language. When we were returning from the hospital she started screaming “dada, esha is beating me,dada…”.I was pissed totally. I just yelled at her from my top of my voice “sit back AL and I am not esha”. She screamed even more loudly. My bro said “cant you be more polite?”. I looked outside the window and asked myself “am I that bad with kids? Where I am lagging?”. I just held her and she drifted to sleep in my arms. I held her tightly and told myself “I am going to make you remember my name forever”

When we were getting ready for Christmas mass, AL said “I will sit with esha”. I looked at her and she smiled. She picked my sandals and said “esha wear them, they are pretty”. When my bro saw the heels he said “you are going to wear those and go for mass? you are going to fall no doubt in that. I don’t even care if you fall but you are going to drop my daughter”. I just gave him one of my angry look. Then AVL, the old tiger, my dad said “you will definitely fall”. Then FL said “I bet, you are going to fall”. I said “whats wrong with you people? Mind your own business”. AWL said “FL, I will give you 500Rs if she falls”. I just smiled and said “in your dreams”. AWL chuckled and said “take care of my daughter for love of god”.

I sat with my niece on the last bench. As soon as we reached she was happy to see Jesus. She knelt and closed her eyes. Then I told her “you have to tell me if you want to pee”. She said “ok esha”.As the people started occupying the empty chairs AL was busy admiring them. Our neighbor kids sat next to AL. The 3 years old boy smiled at AL and she smiled back at him. As the mass started AL was busy playing with that boy. I smiled at them and thought to myself “AWL will have tough time chasing the boys admiring his daughter”. Somewhere in middle of the mass AL said “pick me esha”. When I picked her up she said “susu”. I took her outside and she said “I want to susu in front of crib”. I said “no you cant, Jesus will beat you”. Then I thought “did I made a mistake taking AL with me”. I wondered what I will do If she fuss about her susu . Then I took her near the Christmas tree and said “susu in front of Christmas tree”. She looked at the tree and smiled and said “star”. She was testing my patience. I made her touch the star on one condition “susu in front of Christmas tree”. She said “ok esha”. After touching the star she said “no susu esha, we go in”. I looked at her and asked “susu coming baby?”. She said “no susu esha”. I smiled and said “ok baby we go in”. As the people were lined up for communion I joined the line. It was then she said “esha susu coming”. I looked her and asked myself “why god why understanding kids is soooooo difficult”. She said “esha susu coming”. I was in the middle of the line. I looked at the crucifix and said “hopefully she wont pee on my dress”. As soon as I came out she said “no susu esha”. I felt like banging my head to the wall. AL started running here and there outside the church. There were some guys standing and they called her. She went to them and they picked her up. They asked few questions and she answered them. I told myself “AWL, you are screwed, totally. Your daughter is worse than me!!!”.

On Christmas day I was babysitting her. By then I knew it that I am a bad baby sitter. I scolded her when she made any mistake, I never pampered her. That’s why she hated me. When we were playing she pulled my hair and beat me. Even I pulled her hair. She was furious with my action. When I screamed at her she bit me on my bum with her bunny teeth. I still have those marks on my bum. I was angry but I couldn’t do anything as AWL, FL and AVL were watching us. It was then I decided I will take my sweet revenge when nobody is around. I smiled and said in my mind “AL, wait for your new scar on your bum”. After 2 minutes she came and said “sorry esha, I wont bite you. She extended her hand and said “shake hand”. My eyes were filled when I held her small hand in mine. Then she said “keesha”(kiss) and she kissed my cheek and my revenge was long forgotten.

AL still calls me esha and I don’t care. All I want is to be part of herJ




  1. Vinay R Rao says:

    nice reading it!!!
    Well, u had an eventful christmas!!
    Waiting for the new year Syl!!!

    And hey gal, no grammatical errors, no short forms!! Cool improvement!! 🙂 🙂
    Great going!!!


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