Here Comes The SCANNER

Posted: May 7, 2015 in My Silly thoughts

Fortunate I feel to travel by the trendy, well-maintained, super fast metro and frisk whole part of getting rubbed my body parts with stinky hairy guy in khaki and strangers staring  in BMTC bus. Finally I am travelling decently by METRO in this, engineers more than number of streets dogs, flooding in summer, over-cramped silicon canal.

As I enter the clean spacious metro station I raise my head like a proud jaguar and walk. My legs and hands itch to dance for Bruno Mars “uptown funk” song, as it is So clean, spacious, well maintained. “Julio! Get the stretch!” I shout. Finally Indians are learning to keep nitrogen odour free, dark red spit free public transport stations clean. I dump my heavy bag containing lipsticks, deo, compact in that small Ajantha cave like machine; which micro scans my bag for EXPLOSIVES. While a lady in uniform waits near a curtained booth with her weapon to scan my body parts. To my surprise she moves that scanner only over my BOSOM and shakes her head with approval. Should I feel proud that she scanned my only body part and the scanner didnt buzz? Unfortunately I don’t. I want to tell her I have other body parts, other secretive places where I can carry bomb, my sensitive, god gifted, never wanna replace bosom is the last place I want to hide the bomb with. I want to shake my derrière and flaunt my other set of cheeks where I can carry flat bomb, I want to do duck dance and show I have knees, armpits around which I can wrap the explosive. I agree most of the Indians keep our father of nation imprinted paper close to their heart way too closer to their bosom. But explosive!!!You must be kidding!!

When city is on red alert scanner lady bends her back finally; scans every female passenger from head to toe, she even scans the tissue paper in hand; hoping to be the one to find the bomb with the bad woman. Rest of the days she moves the scanner in front of women’s chest lazily; lets her walk with afflicted pride. “Bosom is part of women’s identity and no one will ever want to jeopardize the identity” I want to scream and tell her.

When I am in good mood I laugh at the lady and she stares ta me, when I am anxious I chuckle at her stupidity and when I am tired I just walk ignoring her dullness. I thought men were the only one who though ladies have only one essential part but I was very wrong.


  1. Melroy says:

    This was so hilarious !! I loved the duck dance part .. Penned down beautifully.


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