Archive for the ‘My Silly thoughts’ Category

Lock-down day 39: Last of my pistachios is gone. Believe it or not shelling pistachio is a challenge in and of itself, the struggle is real people, but given the current circumstances, it was an activity that fit perfectly for the tiny breaks in between work or my movie marathons.

Lock-down day 40: The urge to go out for a walk is unbearable. It is almost 48 days since I last stepped out of the house, except for disposing garbage and wishing Mary aunty, the garbage collector. Apart from Mary aunty I have not had any face to face conversations with any other fellow human. Tried to strike up a conversation with Jimmy, the street dog, well, let’s just say he shut his eyes to my attempt, literally.

In a matter of few days, our lives were brought to a standstill. The virus has forced us, to stop and consider, re-evaluate our priorities, deal with fear, uncertainty, despair, gratitude, empathy, hope, loss, all at the same time. Considering the world we were living in, the catastrophe that 2020 is turning out to be, was well on our way, we just didn’t see it coming. One minute we were ready to land on Mars and next Kaboom!!!bound to 4 walls.

With countries around the world on a lockdown, the unlikely beneficiary of all this, Nature. Blue skies and cleaner air, wild animals taking the streets, nature has never seemed more glorious and indifferent to us humans. It is reclaiming the planet.

Lock-down 1: ”I think I should be fine on my own” stocking up the grocery and Bisleri water,  I assured myself. It will be like Jesus living on his own in the wilderness after baptism. Only difference, he was fasting and had company of Satan/angels whereas I am feasting with Satan as my company.

It wasn’t easy to be honest; it is especially hard if you are staying on your own. Friends, I have quite a few of them, some are busy with their succulent plants while others with their kids, husband, and in-laws. In times like these, you have only yourself to rely on and the sooner you become aware of that reality the better.  My strategy in getting through the Pandemic is to not fight the mind but just let it wander off to harmless, and relatively healthier thoughts in a restrained manner. Rennel, my neighbor has been helpful in providing just that, the right amount of distraction.

Lock-down 3: It’s just day three and am already barred from some of the coveted WhatsApp groups, thanks to my relentless Coronavirus forwards, memes and some more memes, never the news though, I figured we have the news channels, and various other social platforms  for that. But to tell you the truth, I was just trying my best to make the situation we are all collectively going through a little easier on the people I care, yeah my way of going about it wasn’t totally ‘Zen’, but didn’t someone once say “It’s the thought that counts”, well, whatever.

Lock-down 5: Trying hard to keep my face above the water and swim, it is a struggle, but I am giving it my all. I try to shift my attention from the pain, the suffering, the deaths, the %^&ing virus and the world in general and instead focus it all on mostly work, and occasionally Rennel.

He seems silent and soft spoken by nature,  I don’t ever hear him shout into his  phone, or even talk slightly louder on the  phone,  like you are supposed to, because you know the receiver a cell phone sucks, at least that’s my excuse for being loud on the phone. He definitely did not buy into the ‘Get cooking’ trend of the Lockdown, for he has been persistent in his visits to his cousin’s or friend’s place across the street for lunch and dinner, at the very least.

There is an old carom board kept at the entrance to his flat, blocking cats and cute kittens who used to often pay him visits and as a return gift pooped in the passage right by his door. So, now every time he moves the board nosily, I know he is either going somewhere or getting in. Also, he is terribly loud with the lock and the keys.

No, I am not an old fashioned nosy neighbor, I just am a light sleeper who is anxious about of living alone and so likes to be aware and informed about the things/people around, things like Rennel rides an old, outdated, perhaps a third hand bike are as important as knowing whose door to knock  case of an emergency or would it be  wiser to manage with the kitchen knife and chill powder.

Lock-down Day7: “Do you have water?”, “Do you have rice?”, “Do you have gas to cook?”……the same questions pop out in a row, first by my dad, then mom, of course a follow up  by my sister. “I have everything except peace!?” I bark at them. “You can manage then…”.

I didn’t travel to my hometown, like the rest of the Bangalore, instead I decide to stay back just so that my work does not suffer. Given the lousy internet service there, the whole “working from home” wouldn’t last a day, let alone two months.

“You are ok right?” my mom likes to play her ace card with that heart melting voice,  which for an instance makes you forget everything except the stark reality that you are not with your family. And If you let yourself entertain that sinking feeling, even for a second longer, you are screwed up, you start falling apart. However, If you are smart enough you suck it up and move on. I do the latter, “Yeah, yeah, fit and fine”. Wonder where mothers learned to be intuitive like that.

It’s not that I don’t miss home, I just try my hardest not to, it just takes a great deal of strength to push through, and not get sucked into an emotional pitfall. The nostalgia, the longing to be home with family, Mom’s home cooked food, all this if you are not careful enough can leave you emotionally drained and I simply can’t afford to live like that.

The situation we are all in reminds me so much of the days as described by Anne Frank, in her diary. If we don’t have veggies we can eat potatoes like how Anne Frank and her family did.

Lock-down Day8: There is a knock at my door. There’s another one and my extra attentive self concludes, “That’s definitely my door”. I open the door, surprised to find  a guy standing at the door and staring right at me.

I don’t smile rather stare back,  “Who is he? what the heck does he want…..” while I was trying to get a grip on my thoughts he interrupts me “I stay on the top floor” Bingo!!!My mind starts  mapping him immediately   “the one who rides cycle -> the one who makes noise while climbing the steps”. I intentionally dazzle him with one of my ugliest, uninteresting smiles. With outgrown eyebrows, oily face, plaited hair,  I am no ordinary, girl-next-door beauty.

“Is there any extra space in your fridge?”

My fridge was loaded like a full 9 months pregnant woman already.

“Really sorry, it’s full” I said politely

“I have got some curd, and it needs to be refrigerated” he wasn’t requesting he was trying to convince me

“I am really sorry, I really am” It just some curd, maybe I can adjust

“I don’t want to waste it; I am against wasting food”.

“Ok, let’s see”

“Thank you so much, if you want you can use it too” he was happy and disappeared to get his so called precious curd packet.

“Why I will use his curd packet!?”. I will write my name in block letters on my curd packet!

He comes back with several items in his hands. Wait a minute, did we talk about an item or several items? I am being taken for a ride, even in these times.  I hated him already for not keeping his word.

“Sorry I didn’t get your name” I say politely

“I am Chakra“ he said asking for mine

I told my name and like always repeated it a couple of times. A typical thing to love with, with a name like mine, in India.

I took the items wearing gloves and dumped them in the fridge.

Time passed, I got occupied with work. After a while it started to bother me , “Did he wash the curd packet with soap?”, “Why did he being the vegetables along?” I sought suggestions to remediate the situation from my college buddies.

“You made a mistake, learn to say no in situations like these”, Shenoy the manager was straight to the point.

Next day when Chakra came to pick his curd packet I sent along his other items too, said sorry and bye.

Lock-down Day9: I am running out of dark chocolates, my only luxury during the lockdown. They make me happy and keep me going .

“WFH sucks, it just sucks, I want to go to office” was my answer for every “how’s WFH” question. When I read about migrant workers dying, suffering, starving I stopped whining. At least I had roof over my head and food while others are struggling every single second through this never-ending nightmare of a situation.

Lock-down Day11: I bought some prawns from the fish seller thinking some curry won’t be harmful

“I think by mistake the guy touched my hand” I was all worried once again, washing my hand with hot water and hand wash for nth time.

Shenoy, the manager as we call him “OMG!!!Watch out for the symptoms for next 14days, anyway you are quarantined so should be ok”.

“You think I am infected?”

“Not sure, may be or may not be” That’s why we call him manager, he always have some solution.

Palm Sunday 2020: Hung the curry leaves branch outside, so what if I didn’t have Palm. An year with no palms, quite fitting for the dark year none of us will ever forget, for as long as we are alive

Not sure whether Rennel is religious, did he even visit the church back when things were normal?

Good Friday 2020: For the first time in all these years, the regular days seem sadder than the good Friday. He died for our sins, to save us, will he save the mankind and forgive us once again? or will he continue to punish us .It rained heavily that night.

Easter Sunday 2020: Easter came and went quietly, nothing festive about it this year. Online mass, online blessings, no rum, no wine, hopefully the resurrected Jesus is finally happy. Silver, unopened tequila bottle is sound asleep on a rack in my store room.  I am not depressed enough to drink my sorrows away, yet.

Rennel had a blast with his friends across the street. Could hear their merry voices and slow music floating into the silent night. It was comforting to know at least there’s someone out there being festive and enjoying the day.

Lock-down Day15: My WFH continues, I don’t complain any more, I just keep head down and work, it’s hectic at times, but at the same time I am grateful I still have a job, millions around the world are losing theirs every day.

Not sure whether Rennel works from home or if he is self-employed?

Back when life was normal, I was out the door, by 7 in the morning, fumbling with the lock and keys, rechecking if it’s secure enough, opening and locking it again, just an everyday ritual for someone suffering from OCD , and then rush through the staircase to get to my bus stop in time. So was totally unaware of Rennel’s morning routine by had a faint idea about his evenings.

Evenings, he used to go out after 7, may be to a gym,  not sure, he had no fixed schedule. There were weekends when he would come back home early in the morning,  like 4 and then struggle to  open the door with his own keys and then the freaking carom board, I woke up often cursing him, Once I almost wore my PJs,  ready to go down and give him some gyan on how to unlock the door without making any sound. And not mention the awful cigarette smell engulfing the corridor. Often an indication of him having a great time previous night, don’t think he is a regular smoker but definitely smokes quite a few cigarettes when he is drunk

Lock-down Day17: Learned to prepare chapatis, thanks to YouTube. Should I brag about my little achievement on one of the social networking platforms? I burnt calories picking up my 3 KG dumb bells. The invisible biceps are almost there, if you stare at them long enough you will start to see them, and yet you won’t find me bragging about them or anything else on social media. I have bid my farewell to all that long back. No, I am not caveman I am just old fashioned. I like to mind my own business and keep it to myself. I like going about my day without having the need to broadcast every little detail of my life to the world at large.  May be this how people in their mid-30s behave. My next goal is to get a waist as narrow as the mind, of few of the men around.

I can’t smell the cigarette these days may be Rennel ran out of smokes or he gave up. Sometimes I can hear him talk to his cousin or friend. He is courteous and sweet on the phone. He appears to be sociable person when around people he knows well.

Lock-down Day18: A brown vicious kitten visited me, was over the moon, finally someone came to see me, so what if it’s just a smelly orphan kitten. With cute, s button like eye and her golden fur she was gorgeous. I am tempted to touch, a touch which we all are prohibited from these days, but my experience with her species has not always been pleasant and so I maintain my distance, and just pour some milk out for her in a bowl and wait for her to come out of her hiding place to enjoy the bowl of milk.

Did she visit Rennel? Probably not, that carom board would have blocked her path. Does he like animals I wondered?

She was gone when I unlocked the door little later, the milk sat there untouched. Hopefully she will be alright and won’t be mauled by the street dogs.

Lock-down 20: Stepped out to get some cilantro and the lady touched my hand, this even after being extra cautious and standing at a distance of a kilometer from her, can’t be too careful these days.

“I was being super careful but I feel like the lady still managed to touch me ” I was trying to justify with the manager

“You can’t be careful enough, anyway you are quarantined, watch out for symptom” Shenoy, the manager was at it again.

“What?! You think you are infected? Why did you go out anyway?” My sister was flipping out.

“I wanted some Cil……antro” she was pissing me off already

“Wanted what ? Cyril….?

“CILNTRO bum, coriander leaves”

“Wow” she must have rolled her eyes at me,  I could totally feel it. ”Can’t you cook without cilantro?!”

“No, I want my salad dressing to be perfect” yeah I know I am crazy.

Lock-down Day 25: No symptoms, drinking hot water, lemon water gargling ….the holy water is playing its tricks too. Whenever my throat is itchy, I take a sip and pray “God not this time, please”. It’s my blind faith that’s all

Lockdown one Of Sunday: I attend online mass, a minimal effort to keep my relationship with the almighty.

“All peace with me and Rennel with you” I say when the priest says peace be with you.

Lock-down Day30: Sun rises, rolls, sets and then disappears, days pass nights vanish and I live in my lonesome world working on weekdays and watching something on weekends. My thoughts which are very loud at times keep me occupied and then there is Rennel

Rennel, may be in his late 20s or early 30s with thick eyebrows and fair complexion, perfect nose, cavity free teeth, he is 5.9, a sight for sore eyes. His then short hair now grown into long, thick length, held back by a rubber band. Can’t wait to run my fingers through his luscious locks, am pretty sure it feels heavenly.

It has been 8 months since he move into a flat on the ground floor of my building, our paths never crossed, how unfortunate, not even once. If we had met before the lockdown, the shy and sweet smiles exchanged between us would have given a perfect start to pleasant companionship or perhaps something more. Oh my terrible fate!!.

Lock-down Day35: I had my first mango of the season. Oh dear god, thank you If I wasn’t grateful before I want to rectify it right away, starting right at this moment. Thank God for tropical fruits. The items I ordered online get delivered in instalments, and struggle to survive continues.

Lock-down Day37: When the loneliness creeps in and starts to eat me up I play the music so loud my then confused thoughts start to disappear, like they are terrified of someone louder then them

If I lower the volume I can hear “Before you go” by Lewis Calpadi playing from Reenel’s house, finally we have something in common. And few other songs too, which are neither too old nor too new, silent, melodious, romantic numbers, never the heavy metal bands. This is how I guessed his age, some silly logic you might say.

Lock-down Day40: Trying my best to pluck the extra hair and  shape my out of shape eyebrows. Ouch!!!Nooooo I shout. Now my eye brows are uneven, one is like the peak of Mount Everest while other doesn’t have a peak. Pain of every woman.

Does Rennel have girl friend? I wonder. It’s not that I am interested it’s just that I want to keep my thoughts occupied as much as possible and stop sulking over everyday things.

He goes out many a times throughout the day, lunch around 3, tea/walk with his sister’s dogs around 4, dinner around 9:30 to 10 and then final one,  a little later in the night , not sure if it’s for a smoke or just a walk after dinner. Initially I did try to ignore keeping track of the carom board moving and his every little struggle with the door, the lock and the keys, but of course, I didn’t do a great job, and as you can see I failed quite miserably.

Sometimes I think maybe I should knock on his door, give him one of the Alphonso mangoes which I so dearly love “Don’t think you  have tasted the mangoes this season, or have you? Anyway,  here’s one for you ”…..terrible idea, or maybe I should just keep a mango at his doorstep with a Post it note on it,  with a message “From one caring neighbor to another!?

”Rennel” I don’t know what it means but it’s gentle and it’s  nice. Recently I had Wi-Fi trouble that’s when I got to know, there’s a new name popping in the available network “Rennel’s phone” I read the tarot cards for the day and concluded its my downstairs neighbor. The very neighbor I have never met and yet know so much about, it could all just be nothing more than my perception of him, but that’s okay , I am okay with that.

Lock-down day41: Wonder if our PM will assign us any more interesting tasks, he keeps everyone occupied. He is a darling, isn’t he?!. I love the day following the task, so many memes, I still forward them to a few of the groups where I am still a member, with a looming fear I could lose the membership anytime and so make the best of it while you can.

Wonder what Rennel does to his free time? Does he watch movies? or may be watches series,  like Money heist, Asura or just sleeps like Kumbakarna, who knows !

Lock-down, I lost the count: Zombie apocalypse would have been better, at least we would know who is infected unlike COVID-19.It’s like fighting an invisible enemy. With zombies the problem would be , to out-run the freaking creatures , at least we can touch our own  face. Our life has been about washing hands, covering faces, avoiding human touch, sanitizing every possible shit and then of course being able to afford and buy groceries, this is the new normal.  A virus fucked us over, the great humans and there is nothing we can do about it, except stay in our fucking homes. We are living with fear, but there’s hope, hope that we will get through this together, it is going to be okay,   we will come out on the other side a little more compassionate, a little more grateful, a little more resilient. But we have to accept the fact that some things will never go back to what they were.

Hope, though a small word, sub-consciously has an immense effect on us,it is  why we get out of bed every day, for without hope there is no looking forward to anything, not even tomorrow. Here’s hoping that one day, I bump into my neighbor, Rennel and show him how to handle the locks without waking up the entire neighborhood and let him know how he kept me going through the dark days of Covid-19.  But for the time being I am happy and thankful to him for his pleasant, silent company.

P.S:Thank you SH for your magical editing, you gave a totally different look 🙂 

It was a beautiful day;sun rays kissing every part of the body, soothing cold wind and a happy grown ups who couldn’t stop being 9 years old.

Kitchen staff was super efficient. They were pro in setting up and packing the things in minimal time.

Subhas strictly said “no matter what I am not gonna eat that sicken mango”. Later we fed that mango to one of the mule.

Geared up mules.

Home stays.

If you have good eye sight you will spot it. They are called as Marmot.

Always innovative and super cool Mrs R.

Spineless Sri, like always.

Super fast mules always overtook us in no time.

Break time.

Some balancing by Rigzen the great.

Followed by Pawanjis balancing.


View from our campsite. You can find many camps at Nimaling. Altitude of Nimaling 4,700m/15,400ft, we covered 9KM that day.

Acclimatization was always fun with grown-up-kids around.

The gorgeous ladies.

Make the way because they are here…

Cuteness overloaded.

baen baen… i cry, they look up, I say cheese and click

The yellow tents, yeah that is our spot.

As the sun was setting for the day, it was getting colder. Hot soup, oxygen level check  followed by dinner it was as usual. But there was something special about Nimaling, the bright, twinkling sky filled with stars. It was breath taking. How I wish I could sleep gazing the sky. 

‘Cause you’re a sky, ’cause you’re a sky full of stars
I’m gonna give you my heart
‘Cause you’re a sky, ’cause you’re a sky full of stars
‘Cause you light up the path

“Look, falling star ” I shouted like a manic seeing the sky, it was phenomenal. 

We had tough time sleeping that day, it was cold and freezing. Outer jacket, fleece and thermals but still we were shivering. When try to drift to sleep snores and farts from gentlemen kept us awake. 

To Be Continued

“You have to think about her first, her dress, her makeup, her comfort, her needs, you got it?” Mrs. N was blabbering, and I was cursing the day I said yes when, the then Miss L asked me to be her bridesmaid.

“Sure, I will try to do that” I didn’t sound convincing, not even to my own ears.

“You have to make sure you have tissues handy, I know you can’t carry a bag but you must have tissues whenever the bride asks for it”. Yes, like I have to stuff them between my boobs and pop them out whenever Miss L asks for one, like old ladies from the village, darn I was hating the idea. May be I can do it, I was trying to assure myself; with such a beautiful bride beside me there will be not even a bee or mosquito to notice

“Yes, ma’am, I will try to do that. Anything else?”, I looked at Mrs. N.

“Don’t ma’am me woman, my eyes will be on you”. Yes, she can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, just like I can.

Mrs. N got married last Jan, Miss L followed suit and was to tie the knot with a man whom she was madly in love. It’s like a match made in heaven, both caring, loving and such darlings.

It was Miss L’s big day and she was busy getting ready for the day. I was with Mrs. N and the other bridesmaids and I was suddenly more nervous about the day than the bride herself, “I think I am not well, something’s wrong with my tummy”,  ”You are crazy SNL, just focus or else I am gonna whack your ass”   was of course the response I received. Seeing me stressed out, the other bridesmaid started singing the same tune. “Darn woman, look what you have done!! Get your shit together, will you ?!”. I didn’t exactly feel okay but at the same time I didn’t want to be the one  brought down  the bridesmaids and so I kept mum and tried to calm the hell down .

Just as we all got dressed and  ready to go, with it started the nightmare,  “SnL, Come for the pic, SnL, spread her gown, you guys have to follow the bride, she goes, you go……..” the orders just continued. And I was like a butterfly hopping from one to place to another, always on my toe, always ready to run whenever bride needed me. There were moments when a big gigantic Godzilla came out of the bride, Mrs. N named it as Bridezilla, I wasn’t a big fan of the Bridezilla either. Whenever Bridezilla surfaced, I kept my mouth shut and made a sorry, innocent puppy face, blinking about 200 times per second.

Miss L was finally seated in the car with her mom and dad, and I was running around her car like a merry go round with important bags in my hand. “SnL, you in the car right now” Bridezilla was out and I was terrified, “sure”, I hopped into the car with all the bags still in my hand. “Leave the bags out, there is no space”, “Yes sure” I seemed to myself a puppet at the beck and call of a master. I just followed her every order and prayed for the day to be over soon. It was my best friend’s wedding and I wanted to enjoy every single second but was I enjoying? Was the bride enjoying? Oh yeah, that’s whole another  story.

We reached the church and our eyes fell on the best men, our complimentary gifts for the day 🙂 for all the hard work. One tall, lean, college going guy with a sexy name was from Jupiter while the other short guy, who looked like he was 28 was from Mars. Just based on height stats, I was to tag along with the one from Mars, I was too stressed out to feel anything except of course his cute little smile, that did catch my attention,  but mostly I was focused on the bride and I followed her like a shadow, just like Mrs N had commanded me to do . Though I dreaded every second of it, it was also important to me the day was exactly as the bride had dreamed it to be . I was committed to making this, one of the most beautiful days of her life which she would love to, want to, re-live  over and over again.

“I do” and with that Miss L turned into Mrs. L, her joy was visible on her face. May be that’s how you look when you’ re in love, radiant, beautiful and over the moon.

I continued to follow the bride and her trail in spite of Mrs. L telling not to and yet I got some “you not doing your job” looks from passerby. As the evening rolled in, toasts were raised, champagnes were sipped, the party had just begun,  I looked down at my own glass  worrying if I  had drained it  .Finally,  the happy couple made it to the  dance floor while a lovely song by West life “You look beautiful in white”, played in the background,  it was mesmerizing to watch . Oh Boy oh Boy! That was a soul touching song and the newly married couple danced well, we were all were awestruck, it looked like they cast a magical spell on all their guests. Next all the other couples were up for a waltz and so I took the floor with the short best man. With an arm’s distance between us, which by the way I maintained throughout, we danced, we stumbled a few times, apologized, did some monkey business when Mrs N was within reach and basically just  enjoyed the time together. After the dance, I apologized for my behavior to the best man and posed for a killer photograph. Did my heart skip a beat? Na, I t was right in its place, in rhythm without a glitch, like always.

As the evening progressed, I was finally able to relax and enjoy the party, may be the few champagne drops were working their magic. After a few more events everyone was back on the dance floor, that’s when the short best man came and requested for a pic. Did I deny?  Of course not, Instead we posed for a picture he will never forget. Did I care about the pic? No :). He thanked me and went away like a fine gentleman.

The bride was with her groom, in his loving arms and my duties for the day were almost done. I was dancing with Mrs. N when the short best man approached me for a dance, again . This time there was a sweet little smile on my face.  The day was getting better I thought. My heart just started to perform mini somersaults, but still very much in control. A tiny fountain of hope was rising within me, totally against my will. While dancing he kept looking at me and I didn’t like how it made me feel . Was he hitting on me? Probably, with some make-up on, my glasses replaced by lenses, hair tied up beautifully and the nice long dress resting on my tiny hip I was unrecognizable, even Tequi, my dog wouldn’t recognize me. Trust me if he had seen me in my regular clothes, with my glasses on,  he probably would have looked right through me. “Will a guy who would fall for you on special day will he fall for you on regular day”? I don’t think so. We danced some more and the music stopped for the final time. “Bye” we were all dispersed.

I was famished and was looking for Mrs. N to have dinner. Standing in front of a  gigantic fan my eyes were busy searching the crowd when I saw the short best man relaxing in front of a gigantic fan on other side. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I smiled, like a lady mind you!. Finally, I found Mrs. N, we were arguing about something when we saw the short best man approaching us. I didn’t like that my heart was racing, Mrs. N took her leave, all the while raising her eyebrows at me. May be this how it works in wedding circle these days, I don’t know, feels like it’s  been ages  since I last attended a  wedding or  as matter of fact any function.

“Do you use social media, I can share the pics”, he said,  he was cute alright, if I had a sack I would put him in one and take him home .

Like I said before, I didn’t care about the pictures “No, I don’t use it anymore, I do have an account though” I replied.  It’ s been a while since I stopped using social media, you know just for my own sanity .

He looked at me and I at him, the short silence stretched between us, I was first to speak, to my own surprise. “That’s alright I don’t want the pics, I had a lovely day thank you” ,  just end it right here,  like every  other time a guy had  shown interest in me. That’s how it should have ended, preserving the perfect day’s perfect memory forever, to be recalled and re-lived  in the future without being subdued. But for some crazy, unknown reason I let my guard down and added “I do use WhatsApp”. Did I really say  that?! Oh yeah and I still don’t know why. We exchanged numbers, spoke for some more time. He looked so much like a 28 year old, and so just to make sure I am not smitten by a cute guy, who is  younger than me, I asked him,  “How old are you?”, I shouldn’t have asked that question but I did , praying and hoping he won’t say 28. “Not this one, God, please!!! Please!!!”. He told me his age and my face lit up, when I realized if it goes smoothly, I could be the mother his cute little kids in couple of years. Blame it on my female hormones, they were was on a roll and I didn’t like that.

When he bid his farewell he gave me a light hug, to my astonishment. And, few of the guests  who were watching us from a distance cheered on,  it was then that I realized we had an audience , we had quite a few spectators alright. And it was in that crazy moment my steady, stubborn, psychotic heart missed a  beat. Yes, I liked kinda this man from Mars and his guts, for he walked towards me, spoke to me and bid his farewell in style, and he did all this, in front of at least 50 or so people.

It can’t be love at first sight but yes, I did feel something, for that very brief moment. And when he walked away, I didn’t like it at all, I hated it. The perfect day had come to an end, way sooner than I had expected. I knew we would never see each other again and  I didn’t like the feeling. Deep down inside me I knew it was best to wrap whatever happened that day with a sweet note rather than dragging it to the next day. An untouched, unscarred perfect little memory. Deep sigh,

Nothing much happened after that, if you are wondering, that’s  because it was never meant to . I am the kinda person who repels all the men who are attracted to me, this is not the first time. I chase them away or I run away, don’t know why I do that, but I do.

After a couple of days of hi, bye, likes, dislikes, the spark fizzled out  or maybe I killed it or may be there wasn’t any spark  to begin with and it was all just my imagination, I don’t know . But quite a few things made me realize that I don’t know a thing about men.

If I could go back in time and alter anything, I would change the moment I gave him my number. Instead I would look deep in to his big black eyes, gather my shaking, waltzing courage and say “Keep the pictures as souvenirs of a perfect day.”  And kiss his cheek and walk away without looking back. Perfect end to a perfect day with a sweet gesture, nothing more , nothing  less, just Perfect .


Thank you SH for your editing, you are one heck of a editor.

Beautiful view in the morning, never realized sky is so blue. I was happy too, finally I could poop, it was so relaxing I never felt I could feel that way. Some of them still couldnt poop “Still no luck, I am worried now. I eat so much wonder where it is piled up”. 🙂 I didnt dare to laugh. Meanwhile no one cared about the night fart sound. I giggled whenever I heard them but never dared to fart in public. 

Our darling kitchen boy. Water was icy cold wondered how he manged to wash all those vessels.

Fresh and energetic, yep that’s how we looked at the beginning of the day.

MouLee’s oxygen was very low and he was shivering mildly. Previous evening when Pawanji check his oxygen level after the soup, it was below 70. 

“Do you want to continue or go back?”

Moulee just looked, he didnt answer. He didnt had the proper trekking gear, no stamina and no previous trekking experience not sure why he opted the trekking in first place. He looked very much unprepared but group always encouraged him, motivated him.  “He can make it:,”No he should go back”, everyone had their own opinion, MouLee had to decide because it was his call.

Most of the time due to drop in Oxygen level , trek guide send the trekker back and its painful site to watch . They would have dreamt  the summit, would have exercised and spent a lot of money to be there. 

When Pawanji checked Mou Lee’s oxygen level after the breakfast, that day it was very low, so to avoid the future complications Pawanji decided to send him back. “Take this bar, take care of yourself ” I said my good bye so did everyone in their own different ways. As he was occupied he couldn’t join us for the group pic one last time. We started our trek without saying formal bye to him, Rigzen was leading and Pawanji stayed back to look after the arrangement to send MouLee back

It was almost 11 when we could see Pawanji catching up with us “I sent him, my god, his oxygen level was very low, had to give him emergency oxygen. Hopefully he will reach back safely ” He explained us everything in one breath. 

Mountains, mountains and more mountains.

You can find all sorts of colors, pink, purple, white, yellow, blue…

DO EPIC SHIT, stranger from the trail.

Sri never sat he always leaned to one or other thing with his monster bag. As Stupa is holy he was requested to move from there, Sri apologized and found another place to lean on. When you are visitor be like and visitor and respect the culture, peoples sentiments.

Ever cool Chandhar sir.

Kitchen staff and mules always started after us and reached before us 🙂

Ever energetic kitchen staff.

We were told we have cross couple of streams in upcoming days and have to keep slippers handy, when we saw the stream we were like “wow”

When mules go wild in wild.

Eating Musk melon on the trail, it was totally a different feeling. Thanks to Rigzen and the kitchen staff.

The cute little munchkins from the mountains. 

“Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.” Math 6:29

One of my favorite my-click.

Once left

Once right

And then Straight up.

There was a old school adjacent to our camp side in Markha. When we reached the camp side, all curious kids came to see us and Rigzen chased them around. 

I asked his name and he said something which I couldnt get it so to keep it short and sweet I started calling him “Chingu”.

Renu had got some nice, yummy bar chocolates which were not very sweet, Chingu picked one, took a bite, made a weird face and throw it to the ground and jumped on it while Renu watched with horror. She had taken lot of pain to carry those chocolates, in no time Chingu just kicked the chocolates butt showing its no big deal.

Markha School

You are always “WELL COME”

Dining tent. There is one craziest chair, no matter whoever sits on it they topple and we laugh our lungs out.

Its acclimatization time.

Markha Village view from the top.

Shomonata Monastery

Pawanji posing with his friends.

The curious mules

“Look, the mountain goats” Pawanji shouted, all could see them bearing the same color that of mountain except for me. I have to put finger inside my eyes rub and ask “Where?I cant see them”.

Killing mountain goats is prohibited, government have installed cameras and if any body gets caught are prosecuted as per Leh’s law .

Most of them could spot right away,  “Where?” I was still searching “There, see, right front of you”. When I almost gave up I spotted them, happy ending for my 4 eyes.

Our kitchen tent, the food was always delicious and yum, we could serve n number of times only on one precondition “no wasting”.

Some mule riding in the evening.

As soon as we were back from acclimatization all started playing cricket which ended with Tiffin’s “Bumro Bumro with heavy steps. I never felt I am away from home even for single second.

Soup, oxygen level check, dinner, camp fire and then bed, it was a long day

To Be Continued


VC: My good old Shetty friend😀

Posted: July 29, 2018 in My Silly thoughts

She Is Who She Is

Posted: March 8, 2018 in My Silly thoughts, POEM

She is compassionate, loveable, powerful

She is a home maker, developer and pace maker

She visits space and flies jumbo jets

She fights for justice and helps the needy

She is an author, baker and singer

She is a hostess in air, on water and on soil

She is who she is

She is a mother, a sister, a wife

She is a woman

Wish you happy women’s day today and every day